You might think that everyone should know how to pray, but prayer is a skill—something that must be learned. It is not an inborn ability. The disciples approached Jesus with a request, “Lord, teach us to pray….” Luke 11:1. You don’t teach an inborn ability. You teach a skill. If you have ever struggled with prayer, don’t be ashamed. Pretty much everyone does. That’s how it is with learning a new skill. But there are things you can know and do to make your prayer experience more meaningful and transformative.
First of all, we need to remember that the fundamental law of all creation is that nothing exists, functions, or lives FROM itself, and nothing exists, functions, or lives FOR itself. Everything is dependent, requiring power, materials, and other resources to exist, function, and live. And everything takes the power, materials, and resources and does something with it, passing something along to others, who then use what was given to do something else. In short, everything in creation takes to give. Everything in creation functions like a channel, taking from one place and giving in another place. When put together, all the channels connect in a circuit with God at the beginning and the end.
You and I, therefore, must take before we can give. We take in one place and give in another place. Where we take (who we take from) and where we give (who we give to) is specified in the law of God. The 10 commandments were written on two stones. The first stone deals with our relationship with God. The second stone deals with our relationship with other people. The first stone shows that we are to have God as our source (we are to take from Him). The second stone shows that we are to not have people as our source, rather we are to give to them (honoring our parents is giving, not taking). What do we give to them? If you function as a channel, as the law says, then you can only give what you first took. So, we give to others what we have taken from God. We honor our parents, not because they are honorable, but because we have taken (actively received) honor from God. When we take the honor from God, we now have the honor and can give it. We aren’t the source of honor, so we can’t honor others by simply trying to generate honor to honor them with. It is impossible. So, the law of God shows us that we are to take from God and give to other people.
When you pray, are you talking with God, or are you talking with people? Clearly, you are talking with God. According to the law, do you talk with God so that you can give Him something? Or do you talk with God so that you can take (actively receive) something from Him? Clearly, prayer is not for the purpose of giving God anything. He is the Source. Prayer is for the purpose of taking from Him what you need. Why? So you can keep it to yourself? No. The law is take to give. We take so that we can give. We pray in order to get what is needed from God so we can use it to bless others. Does that mean that we aren’t blessed ourselves? We just need to bless others? No! It means that we are blessed WHILE we take from God and give to others for their blessing.
When you pray, understand that you are there to take what you need from God so that you can do something with it. Who is it that knows all things, including the best way to fulfill your needs? Who is it that has all the resources you need? Who is it that is good and wise? Who is it that knows the future? Who is it that truly has your best interests in mind? Who is it that has the power to make happen what needs to happen? Is it you, or God? Clearly, it is God. With this in mind, do you want God to adopt your thoughts and ideas, or do you want to adopt His thoughts and ideas? Do you want God to do what you are thinking, or do you want to do what God is thinking? Do you want Him to bend to your will, or do you want to bend to His will?
Jesus understood this when He said, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” Luke 22:42.
Have you ever walked away from prayer feeling exhausted and unfulfilled? Perhaps you were trying to get God to understand your perspective. Maybe you were trying to get God to do what you think needs to be done. You were trying to get God to do this, get God to do that, get God to do something else. Do you have to convince God to love you and listen to you? If so, you have a God who doesn’t love you. Do you have to pay God with time, service, reading, prayer, tithe, etc. to love you? If so, you have a transactional relationship (like prostitution) with God. You can never love a God like that because a God like that doesn’t love you. He only loves what you can do for Him or give to Him. A God like that is selfish.
If you see prayer as a time to get God’s attention, as your opportunity to inform God of something He doesn’t already know about, as a means to convince God of your perspective, as a forum where you can convince Him to do the good that you see needs to be done (whether in your life or the lives of others), or as the hand that rubs the genie bottle so you can get your wishes; don’t be surprised if it hasn’t been working!
As we have already seen, according to the law, the purpose of prayer is to take from God. It is not for the purpose of giving to Him. If you see prayer as required by God so He can be filled up by you (you give), then you can only leave with less power and enthusiasm. If you see prayer as an opportunity for you to be filled by God (you take), then you can leave refreshed, empowered, and enthused.
Prayer is a tremendous privilege! Imagine it, in prayer, you, a sinful human being on planet earth can enter the audience chamber of the Almighty Creator God of the universe! Through prayer, you can come into the presence of God Himself and commune with Him! He offers each of us that privilege. He loves for us to come to Him in prayer and take all we need from Him so we can give to others.
“Our prayers are not to be a selfish asking, merely for our own benefit. We are to ask that we may give…We are to ask blessings from God that we may communicate to others. The capacity for receiving is preserved only by imparting. We cannot continue to receive heavenly treasure without communicating to those around us.” Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 142.
Who has a greater interest in your good and the good of others? Who is better acquainted with the issues involved in each situation/problem and what is needed to resolve it? Who knows the future and has known about the problem and had a solution for it from eternity past? Who has the power to fix it? God is and does. So, why should we ask for anything? Why doesn’t He just do it all Himself? He did say, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7. But He also said, “It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24.
If God can answer before we ask, if He knows what is needed before we know it, if He already knows what to do to fix the problem, if He already has the power necessary to do it, why should we ask for anything? Doesn’t He just do what He’s going to do anyway, whether we ask or not? The answer is no.
“It is a part of God’s plan to grant us, in answer to the prayer of faith, that which He would not bestow did we not thus ask.” The Great Controversy, p. 525. So, why does God ask us to ask? Why does He do things in answer to the prayer of faith that He otherwise wouldn’t do? Doesn’t that limit Him from doing what needs to be done? Doesn’t that make Him less efficient? When you look at it in the short term, the answer is yes. But when you look at it in the long term, the answer is no. How?
Imagine that you are a parent and your daughter is getting to the age where she can start helping prepare the meals in the home. If you give her a task to do, is she going to do it slower or faster than you? Slower, of course. Who is going to do it better? You or her? You will, of course. If she is in charge of the meal preparation, is the meal likely to be done on time? Probably not. Getting your daughter involved in making the meal makes you much less efficient and effective. But after she learns how to do it, and do it well, you can have her make the meals while you work on other things. In the short term, it is inefficient. In the long term, it is very efficient.
Similarly, God gives us the responsibility to do many things. He gives us the responsibility, because that very responsibility is what is needed for us to develop our talents and character. As we are learning, we are very ineffective and inefficient. God knows that. He knows that is part of the learning process. But He also knows that as we stick with it, we will increase in effectiveness and efficiency. In time, it will be proven that God was very wise in giving us the responsibility—even for asking. It will be proven that it was a good thing that God will “grant us, in answer to the prayer of faith, that which He would not bestow did we not thus ask.”
Another principle of prayer is that God always goes first. The first law of the Bible is, “In the beginning God….” Genesis 1:1. God always goes first. What you and I do is only a response to what has already been done. This makes sense because the law shows that we are not the source. We are a channel. And the channel can only do something AFTER something has first been given to it. If you have an unselfish desire for something good, where did it come from? It came from God, for God always goes first. You didn’t generate that unselfish desire. God gave it to you. You are only responding to what God is already doing. ““Every good impulse or aspiration is the gift of God….” Education p. 253.
If God inspired the unselfish desire that leads you to ask for a good thing, that means He already plans to give you that good thing (in His time and way). When you pray, you don’t have to convince Him to give you the good thing you desire. He has been trying to convince you! Ask for it, trust that He wants it for you, and thank Him for giving it to you when and how He knows is best.
This leads us to the topic of the prayer of faith. What is the prayer of faith?
“Faith is trusting God—believing that He loves us and knows best what is for our good. Thus, instead of our own, it leads us to choose His way. In place of our ignorance, it accepts His wisdom; in place of our weakness, His strength; in place of our sinfulness, His righteousness. Our lives, ourselves, are already His; faith acknowledges His ownership and accepts its blessing…How to exercise faith should be made very plain. To every promise of God there are conditions. If we are willing to do His will, all His strength is ours. Whatever gift He promises, is in the promise itself. “The seed is the word of God.” Luke 8:11. As surely as the oak is in the acorn, so surely is the gift of God in His promise. If we receive the promise, we have the gift. Faith that enables us to receive God’s gifts is itself a gift, of which some measure is imparted to every human being. It grows as exercised in appropriating the word of God. In order to strengthen faith, we must often bring it in contact with the word.” Education p. 253.
“Prayer and faith are closely allied, and they need to be studied together. In the prayer of faith there is a divine science; it is a science that everyone who would make his lifework a success must understand. Christ says, “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” Mark 11:24. He makes it plain that our asking must be according to God’s will; we must ask for the things that He has promised, and whatever we receive must be used in doing His will. The conditions met, the promise is unequivocal. For the pardon of sin, for the Holy Spirit, for a Christlike temper, for wisdom and strength to do His work, [1] for any gift He has promised, we may ask; [2] then we are to believe that we receive, [3] and return thanks to God that we have received. We need look for no outward evidence of the blessing. The gift is in the promise, and we may go about our work assured that what God has promised He is able to perform, and that the gift, which we already possess, will be realized when we need it most.” Education pp. 257-258.
The prayer of faith is simple:
Now, go to God in prayer and take, take, take, so that you can go to others and give, give, give. Ask, believe, thank, and cooperate. And see what happens in your life and the lives of others.
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